The Word According to Me

I am absolutely thrilled. People finally agree with me.
I have a long history of being the only one to have the opinion that I do: I thought Titanic - highest grossing film since the beginning of time or something - was a load of bollocks, find Coldplay - ridiculously successful in all corners of the globe and particularly within my immediate family - fairly dull and curiously ridiculous, adored Freaks and Geeks - unlike the majority of the American population as it was cancelled after one series, but have never seen the appeal of hugely popular The Sopranos… the list goes on and on. Yet finally, finally, the world (at least the critics so far) agree with me over The DaVinci Code.

Now I am not saying that I didn't enjoy the book. I read it in one sitting during a flight from Vancouver to London (via Dallas - don't ask) and found the central mystery and the ideas put forth absolutely fascinating. But, err, was I the only one to notice that there was no story? Yes, the investigation of the mystery and how it played out could be argued to be the story itself, but in terms of impact on characters (indeed, in terms of characters at all) it was thin on the ground at best. Scenes of talking heads followed scenes of talking heads, with characters suddenly remembering or making connections within information that they possessed before the book started, rather than truly discovering, acting or even reacting within the story itself. All of which is fine really for a novel. As I said, the mystery itself more than made it an absolute page turner - high school English essay level prose nonwithstanding. (Ooh - did that sound as snobbish as I think?!) However, a movie with no story or characters is another matter.

I haven't seen it yet, so am aware that I could be talking out of my hat here, but it has been pretty unanimously slated by the critics. (Most of whom, it has to be said, have admitted that their opinion won't matter a jot as it inevitably hurtles towards outdoing Titanic at the box office.) When I heard about the film, I did wonder how they would deal with the pretty serious problem of the basic staticness of the story. (And no, flying from Paris to London to continue a conversation does not inject any actual movement into a story.) It appears that they have dealt with it… by not dealing with it at all, which suggests to me a pretty excruciating movie. Maybe I am wrong - and I agree with the critics that a minor point like the movie being a bit cr*p is unlikely to make a blind bit of difference - but, for once, it is rather nice that I am not the only person to notice.